Thursday 19 June 2014

Ride

Her
dupatta
billowing
flapping
fluttering
like a live thing
she
was on
the high
of
ecstacy
(the
emotion
not
the drug-
the
symptoms
may
match
though)
wind
sang
to her
in the
ear
tickled
the insides
of her
nostrils
and
made
her
unruly
hair
look
scruffier.
She
laughed
out of
pure
joy
and
sang
snatches
of
a
forgotten
ditty
the
other
passersby
amused
to
bits
a
truck
driver
swore
loudly
and
a
loud
honk
followed
a prophesy
by
the
rickshaw
wallah
lady-
today
is
the
day
that
you
die.
Why
sing
then?

Tuesday 17 June 2014

The yellow brick road

Bricks are a shade of crimson, as with all things , terracotta. But this road was yellow!Like the' road that went to the heaven'(apologies to Mr.G.K.Chesterton) this road was sprinkled liberally with the gold dust of good fortune. Or was it?
It had, in its hoary days of good fortune, had no doubt seen lot of activity. Caravans, chariots, mules, horses, leather shod feet, have all thundered past its pale visage. Like all things definite, it had a beginning and an end. It began at the city gates, and carried people, goods, animals, across the Roman Empire. On festive occasions, it would be festooned with flags fluttering at its side, as it led dignitaries, competitors, strange bloodthirsty beasts from conquered lands, gladiators, proudly all the way to the city gates.Its stone bricks would be examined for cracks and stones, dust and dung religiously swept off, water sprinkled from leather pouches , and what a spectacle it would be!Sigh!!
Now,it patiently waits for the crowd of insolent , gadget laden tourists to finish photographing the road and various dilapidated ruins that surround it. Flashes of blinding light trying to capture what was once the greatest pinnacle of the civilised world. Every crease, crack in the yellow sandstone telling a story of its own. Of metal wheels cutting in as they raced past, of wooden ones wearing the surface, as they slowly trundled, of running feet, of clattering hooves, of inexplicable , mysterious urgencies of life, of slow dragging of overladen mules, creaking under their load.
Like all things finite, the yellow road has lost its sharp beginning and finite end. It doesnot begin at the city gates anymore, for the city gates themselves have ceased to exist,long ago. A crumbled heap of sorry masonry stands mutely for all to see.
The Roman empire has ceased to exist, so the road leads no-where.
It exists as a strip of yellowing , cracked stone , a painful reminder of all things mortal, the small strip grimly holding against the vagaries of nature , a vestige of a glorious past.
The sun still sets in an explosion of orange-gold mirth, and the yellow road settles down to brood gloomily in the dark, as the last tourist leaves, alone in a ghost city of memories.

Monday 16 June 2014

The Drunk

A pile of
dirty
yellow
clothes
hiding
a man within
by the road
side
beyond
the hubbub
of the pavement
unperturbed
by
honking
cars
curious
pedestrians
staring
at a square
of clean
blue
sky
high
above
and beyond
powerlines
stray
kites
soaring
eagles
fluttering
posters
hoardings
poking
into the eye
of the
sky
someone
a busy body
a kind soul
stopped
and
stooped
to look
him
in the
eye
and tell
him
 the grass
here
is
filthy
man
this is
no way
to
sleep
your
indulgence
off
you
******
he stared
at such
unaccustomed
concern
and
usual
expletives
with
glassy
eyes
and
gave
a faraway
grin
that reeked
of
alcohol
in excess
he
couldn't
help
it
for
overwhelmed
at the
sheer
beauty
of the
sky blue
square
he
chuckled
dreamily
throatily
scarily
the
passerby
straightened
and
was heard
telling
his
companion
yup
he is
drunk.
you were
right
such
depravity
by
the street
side
pity!!

Thursday 12 June 2014

Anirrudh Panjiyara

The screaming always attracted the attention of the passers-by, the vegetable vendors, and the clients at the diminutive medical store , which also served the purpose of our bus-stop.
"Nooooo, I dont want to go home. I waant to go to schooool."
Rolling in dust, throwing a terrible tantrum, the child would create a royal spectacle , the moment the school bus left, with prim and proper school children, dressed in starched whites, hairs combed slickly back, smelling of talcum and anticipation, carrying fragrant tiffins, freshly covered books and notebooks in cool rucksacks. She would insist on dropping her siblings off to school, in their sky blue matador school van, with the name of their school painted on the side in large shiny black letters, would invariably try to sneak up aboard in her crumpled nightclothes, and would have to be restrained.
The bus would leave , in a cloud of dusty disappointment, and the sobs would start.
The impossible job of ferrying a kicking and screaming child from the bus stop to home was given to Anirrudh.He would hoist her on his shoulders, and she would traverse the rest of the path, wailing, pummeling his head, neck, shoulders, her tiny fists in his luxuriant hair.
That unruly brat would be your's truly, I am quite ashamed to admit.
Anirrudh bore the humiliation and embarrasment of it quite well, now that I come to think of it. All he would do was have a permanent grin,albiet sheepish, on his face.
Every summer, he would shave his head; a common custom in those parts, partly to beat the heat, partly to control lice growth. An added bonus of being a low-maintenance hair style.That summer, monsoon broke in a hailstorm. Thunderous black skies rained hailstones the size of laddoos that pierced every single leaf of the guava tree in the backyard, flattening standing crops, pummelling stray cattle and a dare devil Anirrudh who volunteered to fetch the clothes from the clothesline .A steep staircase led the way down from the living quarters to the courtyard.In his teens then, the poor guy went rolling down the numerous steps, coming to rest only at the bottom, battered and bruised, then running to take cover under the scant roof of the porch.
With total disregard to his injured state, he proceeded to gather as much hailstones as he could, in his tattered vest, on his way back up, for us kids to play with.The shaved head was full of ugly, red-blue blotches for the rest of the rainy season. His courage earned him my granny's fussing-over(put this sandal and turmeric paste on it , you takloo !) and our undying gratitude.
Anirrudh came to work in our home when he was a gawky teenager. He literally grew up with us. Making mud balls to learn counting and tables (poor man's counting frame), polishing shoes every evening(he would , in his assiduity , polish the soles even!!),cleaning the house, get the kitchen fires going, fetch water from well, groceries from the market, industry was his second name.
The day his namesake was instated the head of the state of an island nation-Mauritius ; was a day of immense pride for us. Only the surnames differed. The President was Anirrudh Jagannath.; and he was Anirrudh Panjiyara.
One of us ran to the well looking for him and gave him the news, in a fit of misplaced enthusiasm.
"Who?And what place is this morisas?"Panted Anirrudh while hefting up a huge bucket of water.
 Splashing some on his face before wiping his hands on his yellowed dhoti, he said- "Chalo, hato"I have so much to do".
 Summarily dismissing all island nations and their heads of states, in one breathless heave of a splashing bucket.
On another occasion, my brother was being bothered by a class bully; Anirrudh was sent post haste to the school play-ground to sort this guy out. He, in all his muscled rustic vigour,was able to wreak more havoc in the poor guy's heart than any school principal.All Anirrudh did was to whisper some rude threats into his ear. The boy never bothered anyone, ever again.
He would ferry hot lunch to us, at school, every afternoon, on his bicycle. Patiently waited for us to finish, helped us to  wash up and then leave carrying the empty lunch boxes.This arrangement carried on for two long years. Once the youngest among us reached primary school, and we were considered old enough to carry our own tiffins, the practice was discontinued.One particular incident stands out in the memory as we waited the entire lunch break with rumbling tummies, and then going back to classes as the bell had  sounded. Halfway through the class, sister(nun) called me away and asked me to' Go quickly, have tiffin and come back.' Apprehensive, I scanned the now-deserted corridor, to find a grinning Anirrudh and his trusty bicycle propped against the wall near the staff room, waiting for us three siblings with a large pot of soft, melt-in-the-mouth sondesh, fresh from kolkata, as my father had arrived that afternoon.
Those were the best sondeshes I ever had.
Anirrudh learnt Hindi quite early. Having abandoned the local dialect, made him a'pretender', but he couldn't care less. A fast learner, he learnt how to crank and coax the old ambassador to life, where other ,more 'qualified drivers' failed.
He had a penchant for mischief too. That we discovered by the by.
Slated to depart for the village one morning, by the early 6 am bus, Anirrudh was found concealed in the foliage of the date-palm tree at the gate, helping himself to the golden brown sweet dates, as late as1030hrs, much to the collective chagrin of the elders.
On another occasion, a ghost story with several(un-parliamentary)juicy bits was recounted blow by blow to my grandpa by my tell-tale brother.Upon enquiring as to the origin of the unsavoury story, a fat finger was pointed at the hapless Aniruddh.
 Some days, he would go to watch a late night movie with his village pals, come back and sleep it off. In the morning, he could neither recollect the name of the movie, nor the plot, nor the lead actors.We would blame it on his thickheadedness, he would blame it on poor quality movies but in his heart he knew better than to invoke the wrath of my grandparents by recounting romantic stories to us 'pure' ones.
Anirrudh still lives in our ancestral village with his grandchildren. In the industrial boom of the 90s in Punjab, he made a daring journey to this far-flung state to earn enough money for his children. He was the first one in the village to have undertaken the trip.Thereby triggering an avalanche of migrant workers from our village. Always the dare-devil.


Monday 9 June 2014

Black

Night
silence
darkness
are you alone?
small voice in her 
head asked 
her.
she 
looked around
straining her ears
eyes
for any sign
of 
shifting
shapes
snores
breathing
nope.
yes
alone
window
curtains
drawn
night
midnight
door 
closed
where are the others?
inky 
black fear
spread
like a 
bucket
of tar
thick
viscous
unrelenting
clutching
at her 
heart
choking 
breath
sinking 
stomach
settling
to 
the very 
bottom
of 
a dread filled
heart
an alien 
scream
raised
the hair
on her
forehead
an emotion
so 
strong
she could not 
recognize
her own
voice
sound.

Thursday 5 June 2014

Admonition

Girls
do not laugh out loud
like this.
They do not
walk with
their feet thumping the
floor
like that.
You
do not smile
and display
your gums
got,it?
You
should
not ride
bicycles
it is
such a
'guy thing '
to do.
And whoever
asked
you
to read
literature
which
might
corrupt
your very
soul
cover up
your
bosom
for heaven's
sake
be seen
not heard.
Do not
even
think
of writing
what is it
in
aid
of ?
Just paint
sunflowers
like that
'ear-less '
guy
do
not hear
bad things
bapu said
dim
your
senses
and brilliance
you
might
end
up
blinding
someone
dammit.
i should
not
hear
you
screaming
even
in your nightmares
you
must
smile sweetly
at the
bhootji
and thank
him
for having graced
your
dreams
with
his awesome
presence.

Tuesday 3 June 2014

The Red (K)night

"Sab saale *******,
"Eeh, chup, saare so rahe hain. You too should go to sleep."
Nose was blown noisily, red splotches on the white tiled wall, kidney tray,red goo trickling down matted beard, even as it thickened into dark red clots.
Miss M was livid .
"Kitni baar bola hai? Don't blow your nose."
'Yaar, thoda sa paani de do. One sip please. '
Miss M stood resolutely at the entrance to the cubicle. Arms determinedly folded, staring silently.
He, all of six foot something, bearded, loose long hair flying in all directions, bleeding in the worst possible way, from ears, nose, mouth, stared back and lowered his gaze,pulling plaintively and futilely at his restrained hands,bandaged firmly to the sides of the bed.

That evening , this huge sardar soldier was brought in from a desert exercise, a careless poking out of the head, and a swivelling barrel of a mounted gun hit him on the temple.He fell down unconscious and was brought to the hospital, screaming abuses, violent and bleeding horribly from every orifice.He was examined and after the perfunctory tests , was shifted to the ICU.He was on observation, nil orally, and not to blow his nose(an instruction which he disobeyed with impunity).

It was 2245hrs and he had passed red coloured fluid , as urine, twice, and was practically covered in red. All attempts to clean him up ended in a nought, as he would promptly blow his nose ,or gurgle up clots and spit it out on the sheets/tiled wall behind. So , it was decided that cleaning could wait as we prayed for him to "settle down", which he seemed not to, any time soon.

Interspersed with the choicest of abuses in Hindi/Punjabi would be the constant chanting of "Waheguru,Waheguru". Some times reaching the pitch of a shout , the name of God in all its pure sublime form. As the fog of hypoxia clouded his senses, he continued to oscillate between profanities and chanting the God's name.

All along he continued to bleed, large, heart-breaking and scary quantities of blood gushed forth. Only two pints of fresh blood had been infused plus some IV fluids. Scared to her wit's end, Miss M called the DMO twice. Twice in the night he came, and stood , helplessly watching, from the entrance to the cubicle, too scared of  what met his eyes, to even talk to the blathering , blubbering, cursing and chanting person inside.

Morning dawned, to the collective hum of beeping monitors, bustling activity, cleaning up of patients, dispensing of medicines, drawing of blood, setting up of IV, making beds, tidying of hair and last minute rush to make fresh I/O charts, completing of reports.

In all this hub-bub, no one noticed that the sardar had quietened down,allowing the nurse to clean him, Miss M to draw blood for samples,even to the extent of helping the staff change his attire and blood soaked bed linen.

After a while , it was noticed that the sardar had actually stopped bleeding. This was nothing short of a miracle!!With the medical fraternity at their wits 'end ( an inconclusive dural tear was the unsatisfactory diagnosis written in his case sheet)

When the day duty staff came to take over, they found it difficult to believe that the sedate sardar clad all in white, sitting cross legged atop his bed, hair neatly combed into a bun,greeting all the sisters, is the same violent man who was admitted with uncontrolled bleeding the previous afternoon.

Whether the Gods took kindly to his non-stop chanting, or he had some good karma from his past -life, or it was a "self-limiting hemorrhagic episode"(as we were asked to refer to it ), we will never know. All we know is that he became a celebrity of sorts. He was questioned, examined, tested, re-questioned, re-examined, and re-tested; to no satisfactory conclusion. His case was presented and represented in various air-conditioned auditoriums, where doctors of various disciplines would present conflicting opinions and scratch their heads to come to a "logical conclusion".

What we, the nursing staff, witnessed that night was a miracle, no less; and we are content to leave it at that,in all our illogical faith.