Last week my maid developed flu . A mild illness , but one that entailed bed rest and also unrest on my part . In India , we are so used to having someone do your chores , update you with the neighbourhood gossip , and troubleshoot ; that an absence can create mild havoc . Besides , we live in a village sitting at the heart of a jungle . The faintest sign of civilisation ( read , shopping complexes ) are at least 30 kilometres away .
While R (that is her initial ) recuperated , I cleaned , scrubbed , swept and mopped the place . Years of practice has given R a definite edge . All these aforementioned tasks require roughly one and a half hours , when R accomplishes them . I needed exactly double the time , with frequent water / juice / music breaks .
I realised certain basic truths about life , which I enumerate here
Long nails and housework do not go together . It is an either -or situation , clear cut . Dish soaps are not meant to be kind to your nail varnish , the mop & broom handles plus your scotch brite scrubber will chip your nails . Better to keep them short . Better still , unpainted .
You can’t lift up dirt on a dustpan without handles . R had been telling me of the broken dustpan and I had been postponing buying a new one . No more . Choices are few . You can also broom away your housedust into the a narrow strip of beaten earth that surrounds your home , but there is no guarantee that it won’t attract wildlife from the great beyond , to come and taste your biscuit crumbs and nail parings . Worse , they may be hungry for more . Hence , dust pans .
You must have Imagine Dragons on your playlist , when cleaning your home . If you can play it really loud on a bass speaker , it will loosen the cobwebs in the corners of your house , and give you the much needed push to get off your chair . It is like one of those patriotic songs they must be playing before wars . It fills you with much needed enthusiasm .
Doing house work does not justify drinking sugary drinks . Since housework , like workout, varies in intensity and duration , there is no knowing how many calories have been burnt . I always succumb to this ill logic , and sweet cravings , after one bout of mild house work . Bad decision .
Pace your innings . There is no need to put a bubbling pot on the stove , switch on the washing machine , and scrub pots all at the same time . Experience has taught me that the bubbling pot stops bubbling and burns its contents to the bottom , emitting thick dark clouds of sad smoke , washing machine gets stuck at the rinse phase (because the water supply has been discontinued , and you weren’t alert enough to monitor it ), and you are stuck half way through the pots , elbow deep in suds . And Imagine dragons keeps asking you to “believe “.
Stock up anti flu medication . When R returns , all crisp and clean , you are going to sniffle into your pillows and cough your nights away . Hence , flu med .
Relax , it is not the end of the world . Just a couple of days . This too shall pass . I am strong . Amen ( That is my current prayer )
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