The other day , someone dropped the wifi dongle. And it promptly went into the sulk mode . Wouldn't charge , wouldn't switch on . Was just , plain and simple , dead .
I , blamed the kids ; the kids blamed each other . The dongle remained dead. The truth was, it had been dropped , several times , by all , in turn.
It was a dismal deadlock.
In absence of viable wifi , life came to a standstill .
The elder kid couldn't google her numericals , which she couldn't solve herself ; the younger one couldn't see the trashy soaps , which she shouldn't be seeing , and I couldn't see recipe videos of food that I could never cook .
Something had to be done . So, phone calls were made , directions / days / hours were discovered , finalised and acted upon . I secured the directions from three sources .My spouse , crying himself hoarse , repeated them thrice , on the phone . I jotted them down , but as , the erratic static wreaked havoc , I could go no further than the first flyover .
My friendly neighbour , a retired Colonel , pitched in at the last moment and told me to ditch the flyover . He told me to follow the road L . Take a turn right , and a left , and voila! , you're there .
Third was my google map app on the android . It displayed a lot many exhausting options , and told me , in clear terms , that I lived in the locality W and not Locality B , as I always thought . Well, I never!!
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Finally , I hit the road . First turn was fine . The second turn was a maze of three roads . Youngsters in motorcycles , and men in flashy cars zipped by , with the speed of surety. I stood , confused, coming in everyone's way .
As always , my old allies , rickshaw-wallahs , came to my aid . The first guy , who undertook to explain to me , did it with great effort . One would gasp at the sight of him , I think I did too. He didn't have lips , or eyelashes , eyebrows either. His teeth were bared in a permanent snarl . The facial skin was stretched drumskin -tight over his bones and made speaking , very difficult . It was the face of a man who had beaten a bad burn , and escaped , by hair's breadth. He explained , and one of his colleagues , helpfully , pedalled over with me , to a chowk , where the said building was in plain sight .
I thanked him , and proceeded on , thinking , the worst was over . How wrong ! How can one miss a building , after having seen it ? Don't ask me . I missed it .
Half a kilometre into the highway , I came across a man in a business suit , with sun glasses ,and a brief case , waiting for a bus .
He shook his head dismally , and dramatically pronounced that I had "left it behind" (sounds terribly melodramatic in hindi ). He then proceeded to point out a broken road to me , sewage water overflowing in merry gurgles , over shapely potholes . That road had several glass-fronted , swanky offices , asking you, in garishly painted signs , if you wanted to emigrate to Canada /Australia /U.S.A ? A moot point .
Several cars of foreign make , sat , parked sullenly in the puddles .
Suddenly , the building loomed , phoenix-like , in front of my eyes . A watchman sat drinking water from a plastic bottle . He shook his head at the sight of me , and his water-filled cheeks wobbled. Taking it as a no , I stopped . He swallowed in one go , and water dribbled onto his chest.
He gestured with his empty bottle towards a prehistoric tunnel , at the end of a 45 degree slope , a dark and dismal cave , marked , basement -parking . For truants like me , an arrow showed the way.
It was bereft of humanity , and had a puddle of murky water , at its entrance. No way !
I turned and parked next to a friendly-looking paanwallah .
When, I entered , I avoided looking the sentry in his eyes , but I could feel him stare at me , sucking on the , now empty, plastic bottle.
Some people were at work , sawing , welding some shop into shape at the base of a dimly lit staircase. The lifts were lifeless . Thinking of the fire escape as the lesser of two evils , I proceeded . Not a single soul inhabited those stairs . I could hear a Mrs. Norris- like feline hissing a warning somewhere , but no one materialised . Not even a hatchet wielding hoodie(as a mind overwrought with fear imagined).
The phone office hummed with people. Phew!! Many of them had wifi devices with them like me , and I was reassured . I was not alone in my misery.
Air conditioning worked , and the waiting room was full , except for one chair . It was in the farthest corner . To reach there , I had to move , in a semicircle around the Knights at Arthur's round table . All the knights quickly vacated their seats , at the sight of the lone female . Now , I was alone in the waiting room , with the entire round table at my disposal . I felt like the Queen Guinevere.
Soon enough , a young , eager gent came to my aid . He almost snatched the dongle from my hand and slapped , punched it , before even I could squeal in protest. Next , he plugged it to its charger and switched it on .
It was working !!
A look of triumph, mixed with pity , and unspoken words "Women , Humph!!" were tossed in my direction , and he went out to be besieged by chairless Knights.
