Living in a Jungle

 Have you ever seen a hole in the wall bathroom drain ? Yeah , I have . No exaggeration . It is covered with a trap , else the creepy crawlies make themselves at home . But the holes are large enough to let in earth worms and  baby snails . Before you realise it , a night trip to the loo, and you have crunched and squished half a dozen molluscs and annelids . 

No wonder we are causing a  blitzkrieg of extinction . 

Coming back to the vertical drain trap . It , as its name indicates , traps human hair and lint , with a complete efficiency , that makes us wonder how the molluscs and annelids make their way through . Earthworms are plausible , but what about snails that carry their homes on their back ? It is the drain equivalent of letting a sixteen wheeler pass through the narrow gullies  leading to the burning ghats in Varanasi. 

The main door has an interesting three inch wide piece of rubber nailed to its bottom end . It comes in the way of door closure , and has caused clumsy people to trip over it , more than once . 

Only when a neighbour , very thoughtfully , posted a picture of a snake comfortably entwined around her front door grill , was the rubber strip accorded its due share of respect . 

We live in a jungle , and we have to constantly jungle -proof our homes . The jungle still finds a way to pay us visits . Occasionally , scaring the bejesus out of us . 

In most Indian homes , we have a separate wire mesh window , that opens out . Here we have wire mesh nailed to our windows , permanently . All windows . No exception . This is done not just for flies and mosquitoes and insects , but also for monkeys , who occasionally decide to acquaint us to their extended families , bratty kids and all. 

They squat in the road , on rooftops , on gates, arches , window-door panels . Everywhere . They demand the right of way , and are accorded that . Their sheer numbers are overwhelming . Not to mention menacing silverbacks , sitting in plain view , snarling at any attempt to shoo his darling clan members . 

The British made bungalows have sloping roofs with a flat false ceiling . This false ceiling creates an interesting living space for several creatures . A few days ago , a constant chirp/ squeak , created quite a flurry , on a sleepy afternoon. My better half thought  it was a family of rats ( which would explain the night time scurryings) , the boy who brings us afternoon tea , thought it was the sound of some bird hatchlings , and I with my unbridled imagination , denounced it as the helpless shrieks of some poor rodent/ hatchling , in the death throes of some reptilian predator . 

More thumps and thuds lend credence to my theory. 

However , we all stuck to our guns , and luckily , decided to give it some time . It all quietened down after a while , and the roof wasn't torn down . 

The sloping roofs are covered with asbestos sheets , that crack under the weighty enthusiasm of full sized teenaged langurs on post pubertal hormones . Come rain , these cracks let in water which gathers on the false roof , resulting in beautifully shaped / coloured wet patches . They remain pretty for a little while , then enlarge and start dripping . On one's personal effects . 

One solution to this is to get the entire roof changed to a metallic one . Two main disadvantages . Gets incredibly hot in the summers , and is terribly noisy when the above mentioned langurs traipse along the roof . Deafening when they chase each other. Nah, the dripping rain splotches are better .

Many an insomnia fuelled nights , I have lain on my bed , staring at the ceiling , and definitely hear something slithering across. 

No , it doesn't say " I will kill " or some such pronouncement ,aka Chamber of Secrets  but the sound of slithering is enough to petrify one . Much like Hermoine Granger . I dare not wake my better half up , who has an imagination , that can reach the Usain Boltish speed within matter of seconds . Secondly , better one insomniac , than two . 

Every time this happens , I say to myself "All Izz well" like the 3 idiots , and pat myself back to sleep .