Thursday, 3 August 2017

Bread and butter

Once upon a time , bread and butter , was , well , you know , bread and butter. It was commonplace , accepted and expected to be present at every breakfast table .

 Like a genial matron , ruling over her home and hearth.

 Fattening , lovable , unassuming , lip-smackingly  delicious .

Then came science and it rang the death knell for this simple and  hearty  fare .

Loaded with "sinful calories and  free radical fats " , it turned into a villain overnight . Like a politician having crossed over to the wrong side of political correctness. After having sat on the fence for too long , and beguiled us , public , with delectable debates , of the "cholesterol " variety , it finally jumped , and scooted over into the darkness of the 'deadly carb' land .

The worst part is , we weren't aware for long . So long as our metabolism kept sweeping the 'evidence ' under the carpet. Once metabolism waned , and took to sitting on a broken charpoy , outside our body systems , like a retired soldier ; the calories piled up . Visibly . Like unswept garbage . Love handles, double chin, wobbly arms !!

Some of us developed deadly diseases . The joints creaked and gave way , under all that load . The arteries clogged up , and heart huffed and puffed , lurching and creaking dangerously , like an overloaded Punbus.

Ominous signs .

Like rising floodwaters . Important to stay lightweight and afloat .

But then , as they say , to err is human . Human err, errors recur.

Emotional eaters like me , are known to slather fridge -cold bread with hastily sliced slabs of butter , in the deathly silence of midnight , only to be snatched by ever vigilant vigilante daughters , who take large bites of your fare , and hiss sibilant warnings in your ear- "Sshame on you Mama!" Making away with your booty , in the dark.

There is another  emotional eater in the family , who throws caution (read  dietary plans ) out of the window , every time , North Korea shoots its mouth or a missile . Chomping on a thick slab , he retorts " We are all going to die anyway" . One doesn't have the heart to point out that North Korea lies hundreds of  thousands of kilometres away.


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