Every year , Vangesh was chosen to play the lead female roles .
Why ? Vangesh was as unfeminine , as they come . He was taller and more muscular than most of the cast .
He was heftier than the guy who played Ravana, and he had trouble kidnapping Sita , played by Vangesh. She swatted Ravana on the hand , onstage ,last year .She also leaned on Lakshamana , drunkenly , when he chided her . Last to last year , she hooked her hands playfully , into Ravana's Dhoti , and threatened to rip it apart. Then She coquettishly marched ahead of him , hip-swinging , braid flying and batted her eyelids at him "You coming?" Ravana meekly followed. The crowd hooted in glee.
When Hanuman came to the vatika to "rescue " Sita , he was to throw some thermocol mangoes down at the ground . This enraged Sita to no end , and she proceeded to throw her raw , cowhide , peasants' shoes at him . One of the formidable footwears hit the poor guy squarely in the chest . That mere act of sacrilege made news for quite some time .
Vangesh , with his drunken buffoonery , sold more seats than a staid and composed , demure Sita ever would . Everyone knew the story . Vangesh just notched the fun quotient up.
So , this year , Mahabharata , was being staged . As a change . Vangesh was Draupadi, of course .
When the time came , Vangesh was sozzled . He preferred payment in the form of toddy bottles , which he consumed , in advance , before the play.
Draupadi was to be dragged by her hair to the court . The artificial braid pulled at Vangesh's own , short , oily locks . Irked, he raised his bangled , hairy arms and pulled the offending braid off. The crowd roared, and the producer quaked behind some curtains.
This year , some ladies from "good families" had bought the front tickets . the show had better be not "too rowdy".
With Dushashana brandishing the headless braid in his hand , like a limp lance, and his scalp still itching , Vangesh picked up a pitcher of water , kept next to Dhritarashtra , after having been sprayed on the mud floor to settle the dust down ( it also served the dual purpose of waking up extra actors who nodded off , mid play)and emptied the contents on his head , in one swift move.
This served three purposes .
One , it silenced the crowd , who didn't know what would follow, next .
Two, it sobered up Vangesh.
Three , it wet all the various layers of sarees that Vangesh wore , rendering them dark and indistinguishable from each other .
Dushashana was supposed to slow down , after pulling the second saree , which was red , and Vangesh was supposed to start praying for Lord Krishna , who would arrive in a hand cranked raft lowered from the ceiling , awash with twinkling lights.
In the absence of colour -coded sarees , Dushashana pulled with all his might , till Draupadi stood shivering wet , in short oily locks , pink makeup streaming down her stubbly chin , in "her" striped blue and black "chaddi".
The crowd roared . The ladies covered their mouth .Some one threw a footwear onstage . In one moment of absolute clarity , Vangesh knew , the play was seconds away from a free-for-all .
So , he folded his hands , and broke into a prayer . Not the prayer rehearsed, but a different one . One that is recited every evening , in every hindu household.
"Twameva mata cha pita twameva "("You are our mother , and you are our father"), rang Vangesh's shaky baritone , and people put their footwear down . The producer peeked through his fingers.
"Twameva bandhu sakhaa twameva "(You are my friend and my confidante), The women folk in the first row, got up , folded hands , covered their heads and joined Vangesh.
"Twameva vidya dravinam twameva "(You are the wealth , and our wisdom ), The stage guys chose this auspicious moment to lower Krishna down , complete with blinking lights. More people joined in the chant.
"Twameva sarva mam ,mam deva deva "( You are my everything , O Lord) ,The crowd finished the prayer with a flourish. Thousands chanting simultaneously . Vangesh bowed his head , and the hundreds of spectators bowed their heads , goose-fleshed , and overwhelmed.
It was a spectacular ending to a farce .
Why ? Vangesh was as unfeminine , as they come . He was taller and more muscular than most of the cast .
He was heftier than the guy who played Ravana, and he had trouble kidnapping Sita , played by Vangesh. She swatted Ravana on the hand , onstage ,last year .She also leaned on Lakshamana , drunkenly , when he chided her . Last to last year , she hooked her hands playfully , into Ravana's Dhoti , and threatened to rip it apart. Then She coquettishly marched ahead of him , hip-swinging , braid flying and batted her eyelids at him "You coming?" Ravana meekly followed. The crowd hooted in glee.
When Hanuman came to the vatika to "rescue " Sita , he was to throw some thermocol mangoes down at the ground . This enraged Sita to no end , and she proceeded to throw her raw , cowhide , peasants' shoes at him . One of the formidable footwears hit the poor guy squarely in the chest . That mere act of sacrilege made news for quite some time .
Vangesh , with his drunken buffoonery , sold more seats than a staid and composed , demure Sita ever would . Everyone knew the story . Vangesh just notched the fun quotient up.
So , this year , Mahabharata , was being staged . As a change . Vangesh was Draupadi, of course .
When the time came , Vangesh was sozzled . He preferred payment in the form of toddy bottles , which he consumed , in advance , before the play.
Draupadi was to be dragged by her hair to the court . The artificial braid pulled at Vangesh's own , short , oily locks . Irked, he raised his bangled , hairy arms and pulled the offending braid off. The crowd roared, and the producer quaked behind some curtains.
This year , some ladies from "good families" had bought the front tickets . the show had better be not "too rowdy".
With Dushashana brandishing the headless braid in his hand , like a limp lance, and his scalp still itching , Vangesh picked up a pitcher of water , kept next to Dhritarashtra , after having been sprayed on the mud floor to settle the dust down ( it also served the dual purpose of waking up extra actors who nodded off , mid play)and emptied the contents on his head , in one swift move.
This served three purposes .
One , it silenced the crowd , who didn't know what would follow, next .
Two, it sobered up Vangesh.
Three , it wet all the various layers of sarees that Vangesh wore , rendering them dark and indistinguishable from each other .
Dushashana was supposed to slow down , after pulling the second saree , which was red , and Vangesh was supposed to start praying for Lord Krishna , who would arrive in a hand cranked raft lowered from the ceiling , awash with twinkling lights.
In the absence of colour -coded sarees , Dushashana pulled with all his might , till Draupadi stood shivering wet , in short oily locks , pink makeup streaming down her stubbly chin , in "her" striped blue and black "chaddi".
The crowd roared . The ladies covered their mouth .Some one threw a footwear onstage . In one moment of absolute clarity , Vangesh knew , the play was seconds away from a free-for-all .
So , he folded his hands , and broke into a prayer . Not the prayer rehearsed, but a different one . One that is recited every evening , in every hindu household.
"Twameva mata cha pita twameva "("You are our mother , and you are our father"), rang Vangesh's shaky baritone , and people put their footwear down . The producer peeked through his fingers.
"Twameva bandhu sakhaa twameva "(You are my friend and my confidante), The women folk in the first row, got up , folded hands , covered their heads and joined Vangesh.
"Twameva vidya dravinam twameva "(You are the wealth , and our wisdom ), The stage guys chose this auspicious moment to lower Krishna down , complete with blinking lights. More people joined in the chant.
"Twameva sarva mam ,mam deva deva "( You are my everything , O Lord) ,The crowd finished the prayer with a flourish. Thousands chanting simultaneously . Vangesh bowed his head , and the hundreds of spectators bowed their heads , goose-fleshed , and overwhelmed.
It was a spectacular ending to a farce .
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