My daughter tried to be brave . Put up a smile , however fake . The eyes screamed -“All is lost.” She will throw a hysterical fit , once she was alone .
She might have had one as she came here. I thought. It seemed more likely. Eyes were red ringed . What could I say to reassure her ?
Nothing . I couldn’t lie . The reports wouldn’t lie . The doctors wont .
But there have been miracles . There have been cases where one has been written off,and bounced back. With strength both inexplicable and incredible . Life was strange .Death stranger .I was there lying , and my daughter crying over my imminent passing away. I was incapable of consoling her .
Telling her , as I had done numerous times earlier, “this too shall pass”. This wont . The grief wont . I will. The vulnerability of a parent . The realisation that your personal rock of Gibraltar is flesh and blood after all. Prey to diseases and cancer . Capable of rotting, decaying , and leaving you alone , like a miserable flotsam in the frothy , churning , vicious sea of humanity.
She looked at me , almost with accusation , as if asking ” How could you mom ?”
I answered back , contrite , “I am sorry , baby”
We both burst into tears and fell into each others arms .
She might have had one as she came here. I thought. It seemed more likely. Eyes were red ringed . What could I say to reassure her ?
Nothing . I couldn’t lie . The reports wouldn’t lie . The doctors wont .
But there have been miracles . There have been cases where one has been written off,and bounced back. With strength both inexplicable and incredible . Life was strange .Death stranger .I was there lying , and my daughter crying over my imminent passing away. I was incapable of consoling her .
Telling her , as I had done numerous times earlier, “this too shall pass”. This wont . The grief wont . I will. The vulnerability of a parent . The realisation that your personal rock of Gibraltar is flesh and blood after all. Prey to diseases and cancer . Capable of rotting, decaying , and leaving you alone , like a miserable flotsam in the frothy , churning , vicious sea of humanity.
She looked at me , almost with accusation , as if asking ” How could you mom ?”
I answered back , contrite , “I am sorry , baby”
We both burst into tears and fell into each others arms .
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