So the phone rang. Several times. A parcel awaits , at the gate. The "gate " lies 3.5 kms from residence.
It was a sunny day. And plenty of dilemmas were roiling around. Posting has arrived so packing has to begin . Cardboard boxes have arrived and labels and tape are all here .
But omicron is forcing colleges shut. So kids might come back home from college . The first boxes I had packed were the kids stuff. So it might have to be unpacked .
Not knowing what to do, I decided to soak my feet. It makes things easier for me. Gives me time to reflect and cleanses the feet in the process. It also drains all the blood from higher reaches of cerebrum to the heels of the feet . It will be very much in evidence, shortly.
But my leisure was not to be . Two interruptions. One , monkeys on the tin roof , who decided to accompany me in enjoying the Sun . And the pesky phone call.
Heralding the arrival of an item ordered by my daughter. Which I didn't need / know anything about.
In my multitasking mode, I had put on my reading glasses and was trying to make sense of Benedictine uprising in the mediaeval period.
So I go to the key hook , grab my two wheeler key and a mask. Thankfully they are hung together , a thoughtful gesture by my husband to remind forgetful people like me that the" war against Covid is not over yet"
My wet feet get rapidly cold . I realise I didn't wipe them . Neither did I bother to wear a pair of shoes.
Next I can't see anything clearly. What is wrong with the world? Everything seems hazy and out of focus. One kilometre away from home I realise I am trying to drive wearing my reading glasses.
Next , I find the wind ruffling my hair . I find that odd. It has never happened earlier. I find the answer even as I come into the line of vision of the gateman.
Everyday, this guy sits there with his machine gun, sandbagged and helmeted against possible enemy attacks. For hours , over dressed and immobile. His only entertainment being catching defaulters like me.
Two words leapt up into the air , like a flare , lighting up both our minds , simultaneously . Mine with dread and his with glee.
" No helmet"
I was a memsahib wearing frumpy pyjamas . All the more better. I could hear him sharpening his blade .
In my hurry I parked the two wheeler opposite the sandbagman .
Wrong move .
Now not one, but two ill occupied Watchmen swooped down upon me . Oozing authority in their fatigues , they lost no time in chastising me . My helmet was missing, they cluck clucked, this was not the correct place to park my vehicle . I thought now they will proceed to reprimand me for my poor clothes , upbringing, gender etc .
I had geared myself to apologise to them and the world . But they stopped at that.
By the time I had reached the Amazon chap, I was spraying apologies right and left. I even apologised to a pigeon whose path I crossed and she flew off , beating her wings with much disdain.
Now that the world was cross with me. I fully expected the parcel guy to be too.
Of course, he asked me for the OTP. And of course, I had left the phone behind at Home.
He glared at me, over his mask . Then turned the tiny parcel over and over again in his hand. I wondered if he was about to chuck it at me , like an ineffectual hand grenade.
Finally , when I made my way back , I was stopped at the gate again . By the very watchman who had chastised me a few seconds ago.
He gestured at a civilian who directed a gun to my head . I said to myself" This is it. " And I closed my eyes.
Turns out, he was checking my temperature. Next the soldier, with a straight face , asked me" who are you?" .
Expression of incredulity must have been quite evident on my face, because he let me in .
Stories are rife about how a ridiculously small trip outside the" gates" turns you into a total stranger whose identity is demanded by the very people who let you out in the first place.My tryst with the outside world lasted all of 2 minutes,31 seconds .
It was ridiculous beyond words. Besides, I wasn't carrying my I card, an immeasurable crime in the forces .
I was formulating long winded , and sincerely worded apologies in .my brain even as I made my way back, lest a complaint is lodged with my husband, or worse, with his superior, about his lawless better half .
All these laws and letting in and outs and checkings have made me feel very much like a pet dog owned by a group of people.
Next time I must remember to bark at everyone who stops me, and not wag my tail .
